PARTIES 3

As I write and read these pages from a past I thought were long forgotten in my old memory I am remembering how much fun some of days were. I remember we would always have an employee Christmas Party. Everyone would make their favorite dish and we would bring it in and party around the big bar up-stairs ( Employees call that bar the Carousel bar, rumor has it there will be an addition to the club- you heard it here first) John (Heather) would make a meat loaf shaped as a snowman, Trixie brought in the bread- There was always a story about the bread- to this day I have no idea what was so special about that damn bread- either he made it with his feet, or blind nuns made it. Eddie was good for dessert- He once made this dessert in a child’s beach pail and it was filled with delicious chocolate crumb cake with gummy worms in it. I stopped at a deli for cold-cuts with the dream of making a Bundt cake with my lover, next holiday party…I never made a Bundt cake. Funny how when you are not dating someone you have all these romantic thoughts, cooking together, row boating in Central Park, kissing in the rain-Then when you are dating it’s dinner, movies, sex.
After the GREAT employee feast there was the secret grab bag! I LOVED the secret grab bag! Every year the Saturday after Thanksgiving Eddie the manager would put all our names into a bowl. We would pick out a name and that is who we would buy for in the Christmas grab bag. I Loved the secret grab bags! Every year I would put on my Sherlock Holmes hat and try and figure out who had who. I usually figured it out a week before the actually grab bag. Eddie was a challenge to break, Tom was child’s play. Tom Terrific was a hot bartender with a loose tongue-especially after a few drinks. One year Eddie made the mistake of asking me to write the names and have the employee’s pick. I do not know what came over me- was it the presents or the thought of lots of presents or just greed, or maybe I just wanted to feel loved- it was the presents!!!!!
I did the unthinkable. I put my name on all the slips. I went around and had the employees pick who they had to buy for in the grab bag. There was a smile or smirk when they secretly read my name on their slip. I played coy and pretended to try and read it, all the while knowing it was my name! All was going well, everyone was quizzing me on what I liked and needed. I was amazed at how well everyone was with keeping a secret. I thought for sure someone would catch on, but here it was a week before Christmas and my dream of a present filled Christmas was going to really happen. Until- Tom Terrific had to polish off the Seagrams 7. That sonofabitch had to ask Michael, the assistant manager at the time, what size shirt I was. Tom explained, or should I say slurred, that he got me in the secret grab bag. Michael looked puzzled? “But, I got Eddie R in the grab bag.” “Wait I got Eddie R in the grab bag” echoed Glen from the coat room. The familiar phase was heard from all the corners and floors of the bar- the jig was up. I sheepishly entered the firing squad manning up for my punishment, but everyone laughed and I laughed with them. They even all bought me a gift at the grab bag! I was so happy for such wonderful , understanding friends-until I unwrapped eighteen rocks. Oh, they got the last laugh and they never let me be in charge of the grab bag again!
Grab bags were never my friend. I remember one year I got a used sweater, another was a box of candles with burnt wicks- I was told that it was bad luck to give a candle without it being lit. I also got a cactus from John (Heather) OMG! I could have killed him that year.
A friend decorated my apartment in a Southwestern theme. I hated South western, but the place looked nice. I had one request- NO CACTUS! Well John got me in the grab bag and guess what I got…There was this four foot wrapped round thing with my name on it. Everyone enjoyed a laugh at my expense trying to guess what was wrapped in the package. Peter, the bartender, took both his hands and went to squeeze it and screamed like a girl! Blood dripped from his hands as be announced it wasn’t a giant vibrator. It was a giant Cactus. John was so happy to give it to me and I didn’t have the heart to ruin his joy of giving so I smile and took it home and placed it in the corner of my apartment. I watered it every day to make sure it lived…The cactus story will appear in the future.
Till tomorrow, Be Kind!