AIDS 2

I hear so many people complain about Feathers and whine about how it looks and the people. They forget, Feather brought so many good friends together and couples and lives. AIDS may have made us alien to our family and the straight world, but it made us closer to each other. The reality of the unknown disease was with us every day. We could not hide from it, just like we could not hide from who we were. We were disowned by our own family, but had our Feathers family. Not everyone was protected or a part of the family.I remember being so relieved to find out you couldn’t get it from kissing-GOD I missed kissing! But you weren’t just kissing the man of your dreams; you were kissing everyone he ever kissed. It was such a dark period in all our lives- So many friends gone, so many memories never to be made. For the survivors every night was a moment embedded in our hearts.
The beginning stages of AIDS were the most frightening no one knew anything about it not even the doctors. There were no such things as computers, or cell phones. The only medical research at the time was for diseases that had telethons. When it became news worthy they would broadcast that only homosexuals carried the deadly disease- imagine coming out proud with that kind of reputation. Many had no choice, look at Rock Hudson, the actor. He was closeted his whole career but could not hide his sexual preference when he got the disease. I remember how no one wanted to know you if you had signs of the disease. Hank wouldn’t let people in the bar when he found out they were infected. He actually had us throw the glasses away when they would leave the bar. He made us serve in plastic. It was a night-mare. Oe would point at people and make rude insinuations; people hung on his words because he was the assistant manager.
The first person I knew that stands out was Frank Vassi. Frank was a middle-aged hair dresser with flaming taste and personality. He always had his Louis V. clutch and enough drugs for the whole bar to enjoy. He would invite me and Kenny Casper to go to the diner and actually helped us become accepted in the “cool” group I had previously mentioned. Frank was a one-line joker who brighten up the night and the most serious moments with humor. Actually the last time I saw him he gave me the smile that I will hold in my heart forever- There was a nasty bartender that worked there (I won’t mention names) and was always mean to Frank. Frank was in the last stages of the disease and wanted one more night at Feathers. We all came out and I had explained the situation to the nasty bartender. I asked him to be nice to Frank. Well he was nice and the night was a huge success. As Frank was leaving that the bar that night I overheard him comment to the one who drove him to the bar, “I don’t remember that bartender being nice.” Well the bartender heard the comment and shot back a rude remark to which Frank responded, “Thank God he’s still a bastard I thought the disease made me forget it!”
The next was Chris M., who looked like a young Clark Gable, was the kindest and sweetest man I ever met. He had that rugged look and a smile that could melt iron. If it was your birthday and you had no one to hold you and make love to you, Chris would be your Romeo. He made so many people happy until AIDS came and so many people were angry. Chris didn’t know- none of us did. These guys were throwing themselves at him and then they blamed him and called him a killer. He never asked them to sleep with him, they threw themselves at him. He even went and told people he was infected. I think I was the only one who cried when he died.
It really was like “The Poseidon Adventure”, our world was turned upside down and we were all scattering around to find the tree to climb to safety. It was sad to watch people turn on each other; Friends accusing friends of being infected. People were so mean, they would say things like-“Did you lose weight?” or “You look so tired.” If you had a cut people would ask if it was a “blotch”. They were so mean. I never understood why? We were a minority and we were our own worst enemy. If you could pass for straight you turned on the ones who couldn’t. If you were “labeled a queen” you ripped into the ones who weren’t-imagine the tree falling into the water with all the late comers racing to climb up. There were a few of us that keep our heads above the water and climb to the top. As I sit here writing I wonder why was I saved? Maybe it was to write this blog.
Till tomorrow, be kind