The Christmas Show

The scars from doing shows still find me today. When we did shows everyone had an opinion. They told us what song to sing, what to wear. To this day I still ask 1,000 people their opinion before I do something-it insane! My Irish Grandmother raised me to be independent and strong- “God is nearer than the door and he will always provide!” Yet here I was being manipulated by these nobody’s whose opinion should not have meant a thing to me- yet they did.
That Christmas Hank had decided to have an employee Christmas Show. The employee’s would perform as a thank you to their customers. Sami and Marty opened the show as elves and gave out candy canes to “We Need A Little Christmas”, Eddie, the present manager, was Elvis, Terry did Eartha Kitt’s “Santa Baby”, Scott g. was “Frosty the Snowman”, Scott the Waiter was Rudolph, and he was the funniest. He protested doing the show and did everything he could to get out of it, but the more he protested the more Hank insisted that he do it. So Scott, who was probably the only one to get one over on Hank, rented a Rudolph costume from Ken’s Magic Shop and it came with a head mask-no one knew it was him and he just came out and waved. He was a riot! Scott the bartender wasn’t so lucky. He was in a snowman costume but the head was not a mask so he had to lip “Frosty”. He was the most miserable Frosty I have ever seen.
Hank thought it would be funny to have me perform “Rockin Around The Christmas Tree” as a Christmas tree. He had them tie an artificial tree around my body and wrapped the branches around my arms and legs. Problem one: when I reached up the tree disassembled in the middle where the poles connect and half the tree fell back and started a gagging effect. Problem two: when I walked the branch spokes dug into my legs. They were pinching and stabbing me. Problem three: Terry was in charge of plugging my lights in during the instrumental. As I went on stage at the beginning of my number I overheard Terry ask if a person could get electrocuted if water spills on the outlet. The lights went out and I didn’t light up. I yelled backstage only to hear Terry respond, “Darling I am doing a costume change and cannot bend over, just light a few matches.” The lights came back up and my tree branch “somehow” got attached to the stage curtain and slid the curtain opened as I moved exposing Terry in all his glory. I swear I did not know he taped! The place went nuts with laughter! Terry saw through the mirror that he was exposed and fell to the floor trying to grab the curtain. I was having too much fun inching away from him with the curtain still attached to my branches. Pictures were taken and he ate humble pie all week, until he caught me in a moment of weakness. .. “Love on the Rocks”
Till tomorrow, be kind.