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So I really did a disservice to Bill. Bill was the first guy I met at Feathers. I pretended that he was a nobody, but he was a somebody. I always had the most romantic moments with the wrong guys and when I tried to recreate them with the right guy it never worked out. Bill was my wrong guy, but looking back he may have been my right guy. I was so self absorbed back then. I thought the world owed me something because I had a miserable childhood. I deserved someone who looked like David Cassidy, not his father.
Our first night at the bar Kenny met a guy named Ed and fell in love.I met a guy named Bill and fell in like. He was nice, but I felt there was someone better. I would be kissing Bill with my eyes opened looking to see if someone better looking walked in.
I remember Bill came to the Bergen Mall, where I was an interviewer, to surprise me. He wanted to take me out to dinner-we went to Stern's ( a department store with a restaurant). I felt I deserved better and he was holding me back from getting it. I mean all the bartenders at Feathers wanted to be my friend and couldn't understand what I saw in him. I broke it off with him. I explained that we met too soon and maybe years from now we would be better suited. He started dating someone the next day. This guy named Chris- who actually became a very good friend of mine- got me a bartending job on Fire Island. Chris was room mates with Rodger, a drag goddess, that will play a very important part of my life and Feathers.
Sadly, Chris and Bill have both passed away. They were one of the first friends I lost to AIDS. It was a scary time when AIDS first hit the scene. I didn't think we would survive it. A lot of gay guys closed off their feelings. They were afraid to love because love meant death. At least back then it did.
The last thing Bill said to me was, "You will never find anyone who will love you as much as I do." and I think that is the curse I will take to my grave. I have yet to find someone who will love me as unconditionally as Bill did.

Till Tomorrow- Be kind.